danielle pasternak, wedding coordinator, wedding planner, scranton

For some couples, having children involved in their wedding is a must. For others, incorporating anyone under the age of 18 (or 21) is just not happening. For those of you that are planning on inviting children to be in your wedding party, particularly a dashing little ring bearer, this advice is for you.

The ring bearer role - Most ring bearers are between the ages of 4 and 8 and their main role (besides looking all sorts of handsome) is to signify the rings being brought to the ceremony. If you have a young gentleman you’d like to include but feel he’s too old for the “ring bearer” position, it’s ok not to have one. Technically, any boy older than 10 in the bridal party should be considered a Junior Groomsmen or Junior Usher.

photo by swoon over it

The ring pillow - Traditionally, a pillow is used to tie a set of rings on as the ring bearer carries it down the aisle. You can be creative with this “pillow” and really make it anything you’d like. Etsy provides a lot of fun options for pillows, boxes, dishes, and more – or you can always make something yourself like the girls from Bayside Bride did. Or, if you’re really handy, you can take a book, cut out some of the pages… well, you can see for yourself what this groom tackled.

Attaching the rings - In most cases, there is some type of ribbons or twine to hold the rings in their place on the pillow. My advice is to have a FAKE set of rings attached to said pillow (or object). You can easily purchase plain (fake) silver bands at almost any teen jewelry store (think Claire’s). For pictures, you can always re-stage your real rings attached to the pillow very simply.

photo by swoon over it

Who should have the rings - If you’re using fake rings (or not having a ring bearer), you want to make sure your Best Man has the rings in his pocket. In some cases, the Maid/Matron of Honor will hold the Groom’s ring and the Best Man will hold the Bride’s. No matter who is holding them, make sure they are in a safe location (duh), out of the box or bag they came in and NOT in someone’s hand. When most people get nervous or excited, their hands will sweat more than usual. Putting the ring in their hand will just make it worse. This is easy for the Best Men who usually have a pocket somewhere in their attire. The Maid of Honor isn’t always as lucky. When I was a MOH for my sis (forever ago), I wore the groom’s ring on my thumb which was hidden behind the flowers I was carrying. It was still too big for me, but it worked.

Putting the rings on - There is a trick that if you put a bit of baby powder on your ring finger before the ceremony, the ring will slide easily onto your finger (as long as it’s the right size, naturally). If you don’t do this or it doesn’t work, slide the ring onto the finger as far as it will go and then stop. Wiggle a little side to side, and ease gently further (oh boy). If it doesn’t move further, then stop. Don’t take it off, just leave it where it is. The other person will usually slide it the remaining way in a discreet manner.

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Swoon Over It Photography is a highly recommended vendor of dpnak. If you are a client and do not have access to this page, email dpnak@me.com.