Ok, I’m just going to go there. Hold your breath, because we’re jumping right in.
stunning photo of Meg and Jeff from Lauren Fair Photography
Dancing at the reception is one of my favorite parts of the day. Seeing the Bride and Groom’s closest friends and family join them in celebration on the dance floor truly warms my heart.
Now, I can’t speak for everywhere but I come from the northeastern part of Pennsylvania where the polka is seriously adored, particularly by our older generations. And one of the “traditional” parts of a wedding has been the Dollar (a.k.a. Money or Apron) Polka Dance. It started in the early 1900s in Poland where male guests would pay a dollar (or more) to dance briefly with the bride. Sometimes, female guests would pay to dance with groom, too. The Maid of Honor would traditionally wear an apron to collect the money. Sometimes, the guests would form a circle around the Bride at the end in which the groom had to burst through and “rescue” her.
As I said, while most of our older generations will expect to see it at a wedding and will usually pressure the couple to include it in their timeline, it may not be for everyone. Personally, I’m down for whatever my couple wants. Would I do it at my wedding? Nope. But here are some pros and cons to help decide if it should be at yours:
pro 01. You will have some one-on-one time with most of your guests. Doing a Dollar Dance will allow you the brief chance to talk with almost each guest and thank them for coming. It also gives them a chance to say “Congratulations”.
con 01. It can kill your dance floor. Let’s say your DJ (or Band) has a great deal of people on the dance floor. In order to start the Dollar Dance (or any specialty dance), they’ll need to clear the dance floor, and repack it once the Dollar Dance has ended.
pro 02. You will gain some cash from it. Obviously, in order to dance with the Bride and/or Groom, the guest must pay a dollar (or more) to the attendant (usually the Maid of Honor and/or Best Man). This will quickly add up and you will end up will some cash to put towards your honeymoon or whatever else you choose.
con 02. You may come off as greedy. Your guests have (hopefully) already given you a card and/or gift of some sort. To ask them to pay money to spend a moment with you can often come across as tacky or greedy. To avoid this, some couples will call it the Dime Dance and play dimes under neath each guests’ dinner plate so that everyone can participate.
pro 03. Your babushka-loving Grandma will love it. Usually, the older generations love this tradition. I don’t get it.
con 03. It takes up a good chunk of time. Typically, a Dollar Dance can last anywhere from 30-45 minutes with about 150 guests. After the first 10 minutes, most guests will start to get antsy again.
At the end of the day, you should always do what fits YOU as a couple. If it works for you, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t. It’s that simple :)
By the way, Megan and Jeff (in the picture above) chose not to the Dollar Dance. Their guests had an AMAZING time all night. #justsaying
xo,
Update (June 26, 2012): I also have to add another “con” to doing the dollar dance that I’ve experienced and forgot to include in the original post: You will get tired, sweaty, thirsty and dizzy in a big, heavy and beautiful dress. It’s (at least) 15 minutes of continuous dancing – what do you think is going to happen?
Danielle is an experienced and certified wedding coordinator and life-lover from NEPA. She is also fabulously obsessed with love, laughing, details, bread, naps, the color yellow and her pup, Mollie.
Well, Danielle, I went into this post ready to state my opinion in the end (that I HATE the dollar dance). I had NO idea that it was a Polish tradition dating back to the 1900s!!!! I’ve been to only one wedding that I can think of where they did the dollar dance and it was done horribly. I thought it was incredibly inappropriate and cheesy. The MOH and BM kept pressuring guests to get up and dance with the B&G (multiple times)!!! It was awful. But the tradition you described above doesn’t sound half bad, kind of fun to have the groom go in and rescue the bride. Like you said, it has its pros and cons, and every couple should choose what they want to do. I’m still not a huge fun, but I understand it a little better. Now if only people would execute it better and more tastefully. That’s the ticket right there, I think.
Hey Danielle. Interesting post. I wanted to share what I have learned of this tradition, through talk and experience, but first – your pros and cons – the extra time with guests is short (if done properly) but on the flip side, this could be a con – take too long, that’s what makes it last TOO long. From the cash end, if a bride is torn between and doesn’t want to seem greedy, but wants to do it to appease her grandmother, I had one bride put red tickets at every table setting and I explained that these tickets were to be held until the bridal dance – each ticket was good for one spin with the bride or groom and for each ticket turned in, the new couple would donate $1 to the charity listed on the ticket. Neat twist, eh? Now, here is the history a bride’s mother told me about 8 years ago. The dance has been traced as far back as the 18th century and believe it or not, it has it’s roots in the Philippines. It traveled west to eastern Europe and to Mexico where it was altered through the ages. In Poland and Ukrainian nations, the wedding celebration used to last for days and the whole village attended. At the end, everyone would dance with the bride, one by one then forma a spiral around her. The father was last. The groom would then walk through the spiral and thank everyone as they presented him a coin. When he got to the bride and her father, he gave the father the coins to add to the dowry and the father presented his daughter to her husband to go consummate the relationship. It wasn’t until this time that the marriage was actually bonded. In the Philippines, they would pin the dollars to the bride & grooms dress (not a good idea after 3 hours of open bar, lol) and the same in Mexico. The only thing I can add is that IF a bride should choose to do the dollar dance and use any music OTHER than the traditional polka we know here in NEPa, it should NOT be ballads. These slow the tempo of the whole dance and eat up WAY too much time. For 150 people, I usually have the dance over in 15 minutes (longest was 320 guests – 43 minutes at Genetti’s DC). Great post and thanks for the opportunity to share!