danielle pasternak, wedding coordinator, wedding planner, scranton

The wedding garter. Dun. Dun. Dun…

06.18.2013 / Tips + Advice / no comments

 

 

 

The wedding garter has become a tradition that couples either love or hate. At one point or another, we’ve been to a wedding that did the “single lady” bouquet toss and then witnessed the new groom reach his hands up his wife’s dress. Depending on how many drinks we’ve had at this point, it can be hilarious or it can just be awkward. Let’s talk about ways NOT to make it awkward, k?

Tips on the wedding garter

vintage-chic garter from Etsy shop FallenStarCoutureInc

First and foremost, your wedding garter is not something you have to do or wear. Most brides (shh, this is a secret) don’t even put it on until the reception and often just before it’s time for that part of the night. The little buggers are often falling down, itchy, and are just an overall pain. They do tend to slip less if you aren’t wearing panty hose, but if you’re sweating even a little bit, that goes out the window as well.

So, let’s say you’d really like to still incorporate this tradition into your evening’s celebration. Here are some tips.

Only do this if you know you have at least a dozen single friends. It is a little depressing when there are only two single gals on the dance floor waiting to catch the bouquet. 

Talk to your groom about it. Let him know your comfort level with the whole thing. It doesn’t need to be raunchy. In fact, I’ve seen it done rather tastefully (and hilariously).

Just because you toss a bouquet, doesn’t mean you need to do the wedding garter. If you’d really like to toss a bouquet (I recommend having a smaller one made just for this purpose or using one of the bridesmaids with their permission), but don’t want to do the garter. Then just do that. There are no rules that say just because you do one, you have to do the other.

Have a back-up plan in case a young’n catches it. In case one of your younger relatives catches the bouquet or garter, it’s important to have a back-up plan so things don’t get out of hand or REALLY uncomfortable. This is very important to discuss with your DJ or Emcee for the night so they are aware of what to do. (A professional will know how to handle this)

When in doubt, leave it out. If, like anything, something doesn’t feel right about it, don’t do it. No hard feelings.

So tell me. Are you wearing your wedding garter and doing the toss? Or just keeping it private for your new Mr.?

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Real Wedding: Scranton wedding planner review from a stunning June bride

06.17.2013 / Real Weddings / no comments

Kate and Nate happily tied the knot earlier this June in NEPA and as their Scranton wedding planner, I couldn’t wait to share this review from the new Mrs. G!

Scranton NEPA Wedding captured by Swoon Over It Photography

amazingness by Swoon Over It Photography

From Kate…

“Danielle is an wonderful person to work with during the wedding planning process. Besides her expertise, professionalism and quality of service; she became a confidant and friend. I trusted her opinions on which vendors would be best for our vision and it worked out beautifully. The vendors she recommends are as amazing to work with as Danielle is- they became one team working for the common cause of making this the best day possible. If anything went wrong on our wedding day- I did not know about it because Danielle and the team was there to jump in and handle it. I would recommend Danielle’s services to anyone planning a wedding, it was the best decision I made during the process… other than the groom :)”

Gah! I could just squeeze this girl right now. Love you both!!

Read more reviews of our work on WeddingWire.

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Cheers! Some tips on giving a wedding toast and totally rocking it.

05.31.2013 / Tips + Advice / one comment

Giving a wedding toast, especially a solid and knock-their-socks-off toast, is often a tricky and stressful task for any toaster. (get it, toaster? love it. anyway.) If you are a good speaker, then some things might just flow. But if you are like most humans, the thought of giving a toast can put some butterflies into your belly region.

So, let’s talk about some tips to get you through this process shall we?

tips on toasts | photo by Dustin Weiss

Writing your speech.

I’ve seen toasts given in many different ways. Some will write down their entire speech word-for-word, others will have cards with talking points, and some just go up there with their own memory and spill. While I don’t recommend writing your entire speech down and reading it, if you need to do that to feel more comfortable go for it. BUT, when you are giving your speech, I would advice against reading it like your 6th grade book report.

If you feel stuck when you’re in writing mode, I suggest following the standard guide: introduce yourself, talk about how you know/met the couple, maybe a short story from college or their childhood, throw in a funny zinger, an “aww” moment and finish it off with a best wishes/congrats to the new Mr. and Mrs.

In order to keep the events of the evening moving, I always recommend keeping it under 5 minutes with a goal of 2-3 minutes of talking and pauses for laughter. This will keep everyone’s attention as you dazzle them with your words.

And we’ve all seen speeches that mention something or someone that they probably shouldn’t have. Embarrassing the couple should be kept to a minimum and if at any point, you think “maybe this is a bad idea…” it IS a bad idea. When in doubt, leave it out.

Giving your speech.

BEFORE you are about to give your speech, you should be cued by either the DJ/MC/Bandleader or Coordinator. They will provide you with a mic (hopefully) along with any special instructions on where to stand, etc. I never recommend just standing up and spilling your guts. While it may seem like this in the movies, there is a lot going on in the background that is rarely seen. Let’s call it “movie magic”.

Also, you want to make sure that yourself as well as the couple has a drink nearby or in-hand. You are giving a toast remember, not a speech. You need something to “cheers” with at the end as does the couple you are toasting to.

Finally, as you are giving your amazing toast, be sure to look at the couple as well as your audience of guests. Speak slowly, don’t rush, and try to remember to breathe.

tips on toasts | photo by Dustin Weiss

// all photos by Dustin Weiss Photography //

one comment
  • Brian sashko June 1, 2013 12:41 am

    Very amazing advice! Always the best from the best :)

    • Some advice on talking to wedding vendors

    05.22.2013 / Tips + Advice / 28 comments

    Howdy folks. First and foremost, I wanted to share this stunning and oh-so-charming photo by Lalee Photography of our couple that got hitched this past weekend. I can’t wait to share more but for now, there is something else I want to chat about.

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    So, I’ve been hearing it more and more lately and also feeling it a little myself and after a plea from a friend, I decided to address it here.

    Wedding etiquette goes much deeper than the wording on your invitation. Etiquette also comes into play when you are handling plans for your wedding day, including contacting potential wedding professionals. Despite what The Knot (blech) might tell you, it is not an “ok” thing to treat your wedding vendors like scum and it’s never ok to just assume they will work for far less than they charge.

    Yep, I’m talking about how you should go about chatting with a potential vendor.

    So, I don’t like to be negative, right? If you know me, this is the case. I like positive. It’s why I like the color yellow. It makes me smile. I guess I also like the color grey, but I digress.

    What you first need to know and remember when contacting a potential wedding vendor for your big day is that they are trying to see if they are a good fit for you JUST AS MUCH as you are. We enjoy working with people we “click” with just as much as you so it’s important to keep that in mind.

    Second, do your research BEFORE contacting them. This is especially true in the cases of photographers, videographers, and florists. Just about every one of them have some type of portfolio on their website and it’s there for you to look at. The purpose is show their style and for you to see if that style matches the vibe you’re going for. Contacting a photographer before you’ve ever seen their photos is just wasting both of your time and can be easily avoided. So check out their work, make sure it matches what you are looking for, and then reach out to them to get to know more.

    Once you’ve contacted your potential pro, price will eventually come up. Ladies and gentlemen, this is very important so please read this carefully. When you ask a vendor to discount their services without sacrificing anything from what you will be receiving, it is the EXACT same thing as your employer asking to remove x amount of dollars from your paycheck without you doing any less work. You would feel hurt and offended and in most cases, it wouldn’t fly with you, would it? To expect a vendor to remove a couple hundred of dollars from their estimate is not ok and there a few reasons why…

    First, this is their means of living. In most cases, this is not a “side job” or a “hobby”, it is the way they support their families, pay their bills, and continue to stay in business for future couples to enjoy their talents.

    Second, their pricing is not something they just pull out of a hat. Like any product or service, it is configured based on the value of service they provide. Third, most wedding industry small businesses are not multi-millionaires. We are all very hardworking people who have a love and passion for what we do. We are in it to make a profit (for the same reasons that everyone on the planet works) but we are not in it to become overnight billionaires.

    Third, if So and So Productions Inc. offers it for a lower price, it’s FOR A REASON. When one company has a different price than the other company it’s almost always because of a different quality or quantity. Just the same as you can’t compare McDonald’s to a fine-dining restaurant (but it’s all food right???) you can’t compare one florist to another florist (or any other type of vendor). Look at their work. Look at the quality, the personality, the added touches that make them unique or just-average. But, telling one company that another company offers it for a lesser price is the same thing as going to that fine-dining restaurant and saying “well McDonald’s has burgers for as low as $1″ because I can guarantee you that that restaurant will tell you “then you are welcome to go eat at McDonald’s” (they might not even be that nice about it).

    Ok, so all of this being said, I’m not saying that you need to just walk on eggshells and be on your best behavior around us crazy wedding vendor folk. But what I am saying is that you want to be respectful and mindful of what you are asking and how you are asking it.

    **Steps off soap box.** Have a great Wednesday everyone!

    28 comments
  • Abby Grace May 22, 2013 9:52 am

    This is me sending you a hug over the internet: [ HUUUUUGGGGG ]

    Amazing post!!

  • danielle May 22, 2013 7:00 pm

    Thank you Abby! That means so much coming from you. HUGS back. xo.

  • Tara Banninger May 22, 2013 7:18 pm

    This was an EXCELLENT blog .. great advice and very true. Eloquently stated.

  • Sullivan May 22, 2013 8:02 pm

    Such a great post Danielle! Thank you so much for simply stating what so many of us struggle to communicate to our clients!

  • Sarah/Allium May 22, 2013 8:59 pm

    Yes!!!! Yes. And Yes. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what you said here. I especially thought the comparison to real life…i.e. the paycheck was brilliant! Perhaps I should find a creative way to direct all flower inquires through this post. Hmmmm….

  • Sarah :: Juniper & Dash May 22, 2013 9:31 pm

    Great post Danielle!!! You put it perfectly and in such a way that I hope people truly take to heart what you’ve said! Thanks!

  • Lisa May 22, 2013 10:00 pm

    Well said Danielle, WELL SAID!!!

  • Denise May 23, 2013 4:16 pm

    Finally!! Thank you for posting this. I wish the big wedding mags would do the same.

  • gloria May 25, 2013 9:39 am

    Thank you for writing this. It is always a challenge especially when one is just starting out. Clients think because one is beginning they can walk all over you.

  • Mary Thompson May 28, 2013 2:18 am

    Well said.

  • Brian Sashko May 28, 2013 5:10 am

    I loved this post and I’m not a wedding vendor! Everything in here is truth! And everyone of you that works hard deserves a lot of respect for what you all do and go through

  • Dave Melton May 28, 2013 7:29 am

    OUTSTANDING!!!!

  • Celia Milton, Celebrant May 28, 2013 8:26 am

    Thank you! Great post. We all want our clients to be overjoyed!
    I really, really want to be a good fit in ways that go beyond price because I have control of the most intimate part of the ceremony. It’s not about the money, it’s about the fit.

  • Lauren Fair May 28, 2013 10:09 am

    YES! So good! <3

  • Steph | The Event Crashers May 28, 2013 11:39 am

    This. Was. Amazing. I agree wholeheartedly with all of the previous comments, as well. It can be so frustrating when you receive an email from a potential client and it immediately asks for a discount, and it is equally as frustrating when you’ve met with the couple, gone over everything, and the question still comes up. Cheers to you!

  • Heather May 28, 2013 11:55 am

    Wow! You said that so well! Thank you so much for speaking up about this!

  • Erin May 28, 2013 12:38 pm

    Said so very well! I love having great info to repost for my clients!

  • Kristen Renee May 28, 2013 12:40 pm

    This is a perspective that is often not addressed on wedding planning websites – but very impotant! Vendors are people, too, and the golden rule applies to everyone in every situation! :)

  • Jennifer Hardiman May 28, 2013 3:38 pm

    Amazing post! So true and exactly what needs to be said. I adore my job/my company and getting to meet such amazing people. But I still have to put food on the table just like everyone else. You put it very simply and PROFESSIONALLY. Hopefully, your message will be heard.

  • Corinne Sebesta Sisti May 28, 2013 3:40 pm

    Fabulous post Danielle! I always use the restaurant comparison when talking with clients. Thank you for posting this!

  • Shaina Koren May 28, 2013 6:25 pm

    Couldn’t have said it better myself, Danielle. We all work so hard to make each wedding perfect, and it’s so important to find the right “fit” with a couple, regarding personality and price :)

  • Todd May 28, 2013 7:21 pm

    Sorry, I agree with the theory here (“you get what you pay for”, generally true) but there is a fundamental flaw in this. The paycheck analogy is incorrect – this is not like your current employer asking you to take a pay cut, this is like negotiating with a potential future employer. You would not THINK of accepting the first offer an employer made to you, would you? Even if you thought it was reasonable, you always ask for more – just because they might agree. Same here, if I were in this business I would always expect a potential client to ask for a discount – then you make your case why you’re worth the price, right?

    • danielle May 29, 2013 9:06 am

      Todd, I appreciate your feedback and see what you are saying. It could definitely be looked at from that POV as well. Although, I still say you likely wouldn’t go into a restaurant and ask for a discount on the food. You wouldn’t walk in to get a massage and ask for a discount at the desk. You would have a conversation with them first. Learn about the product or service you would be getting and then decide if you’d like to proceed. I guess my point was that just asking someone to discount their services (especially without first learning about what they could do) is not necessarily the best approach towards getting what you’d like and building a good relationship. But again, you make another great point as well!

  • FritzPro Music, Inc. May 28, 2013 7:48 pm

    Like everyone else, I truly appreciate what you’ve written here. I am a musician and let me tell you, we are at the bottom of the heap when it comes to brides wanting something for (literally) nothing! I have often used the same analogy, about the “real-life” pay situation and then they get it, but they still can’t understand that music is a profession and that most of us have one (or more) college degrees in music. Anyway, I hope you don’t mind but I shared a link to your blog post on my Facebook page. Keep up the great work! I’ll definitely check back to see what you’re up to in future posts!

  • Paige May 28, 2013 11:03 pm

    good stuff! thanks for taking my thoughts and posting them eloquently ;-)

  • Dannella May 28, 2013 11:36 pm

    Well said. Same holds true when people ask you to give them a price and don’t want to give you the time to ask about their event, what may or may not add costs or time to their event or make sure you have enough information to give an accurate proposal. Most of us are really good at what we do, but we aren’t miracle workers and can’t read minds!

  • Morgan May 29, 2013 10:00 am

    OH YEAH. Thank you for posting this. Great points, great insight, and oozing with kindness. How I’ve wished folks would follow it to the letter when looking for stationers. I’ll be reposting. :)

  • Carissa May 30, 2013 5:03 pm

    well said, thanks for posting this.

    • Exciting events, happenings and updates

    05.15.2013 / Personal / no comments

    Good morning everyone. I’ve been having some brain block in giving you some great tips for planning your wedding, so I thought I’d change pace a bit and talk about some of the “latest and greatest” going on in the DPNAK world.

    First off, we’ve added a fun new face to the team: Jessica. When I first met with Jessica, I instantly dug her style and personality. When she told me about her love for dogs and fostering them, I was hooked! I don’t have her full bio up yet, but I’m so excited to have her join the crew for our first wedding coming up this weekend.

    That brings me to… our first wedding of 2013! I’ve been itching and just dying for this weekend to arrive since November and I’m so excited to be celebrating our first wedding of the season at Fiddle Lake Farm. Not only is it our first wedding of the season, but it’s Fiddle Lake’s first wedding ever so we’re really working hard to make sure all of the details come together nicely. If everyone can join together, send some good joo-joo our way and nice weather, that would be great, too!

    Fiddle Lake Farmhouse

    the fabulous Fiddle Lake Farm Farmhouse

    One of my goals for 2013 is to share more of what’s going on throughout our day while we are at a wedding. Obviously, we won’t be giving away too much, but some sneak peeks here and there are going to be coming your way. Make sure you are following along on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter to see everything! This weekend’s updates may come a little bit late and off schedule since our service is spotty up there, but that just means more eye candy on Sunday!

    Alright, well I hope everyone is enjoying their May. I can’t believe it’s half way over already! Wasn’t it just May 1?! AHHH!

    Cheers,

    dpnaksig

     

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    Planning your wedding and proper Facebook etiquette

    05.08.2013 / Tips + Advice / one comment

    I have a book sitting on my shelf by Amy Vanderbilt called “The Complete Book of Proper Etiquette”. This wonderful woman passed away in 1974 so as you can imagine, there are no guidelines in there when it comes to modern day technologies like texting, emails and social media.

    So I want to talk about some guidelines as you’re planning your wedding in 2013 when it comes to social media.

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    First, changing your “relationship status”. It’s become the ongoing joke that once you become engaged (or married) that the quickest way to get the word is out is by updating your relationship status on Facebook. The status is usually paired with the ever-famous left-hand photo showing off the new rock. While this is a great way to spread the word to your friends and family, I would make sure that it’s not the first time your closest friends and family members hear about it. Your mom doesn’t want to find out this way, neither does your sister. Reach out to your closest loved ones directly and personally to give them the news. They will still “like” and comment on the picture once it’s posted anyway, so no worries there!

    Second, posting about your wedding 24/7. We all get it. You’re excited and you should be. But just as your wedding shouldn’t take over your entire life and every conversation, it shouldn’t take over your timeline either. Friends and family members will love the occasional update from time to time but they do not need daily (or hourly) updates. Particularly not if you use Facebook for your public, online diary where you complain about everything and anything (including your fiance)… in general, just don’t.

    Third, bugging guests to RSVP. While it may seem like the easy way to do so, I don’t recommend repeatedly posting to your friends to RSVP to your wedding publicly on Facebook (or Twitter, etc.). The best way to get an answer from straggling RSVP’s is to reach out to that person directly. You can do this via phone, text, email, or private message but not until after the RSVP date has passed. The rule of thumb is it’s not appropriate to hound anyone who hasn’t RSVP’d if the RSVP date has not passed. Be proactive and avoid pushing things until too last minute and make your RSVP date 2-3 weeks before your wedding date giving you time to reach out to non-responders and really build that seating chart to all it’s glory.

    Fourth, photos, photos and more photos. Don’t worry, I’m not going to say not to post your wedding photos on Facebook. You ABSOLUTELY should post a handful of photos from your wedding day if and only if you have permission from your photographer to do so. I ALWAYS recommend crediting the photographer with their name and website address (or Facebook tag if possible). What I don’t recommend is having your bridesmaids or family members post any photos of you prior to the ceremony. Keep that element of surprise and post those photos once the day is over.

    So, as in life, sharing your wedding adventures via Facebook is all about moderation and optimism. Facebook (or any other public arena) is not the place to complain about your future mother-in-law or an unhelpful bridesmaid.

    Cheers!

    one comment
  • Warm Fuzzies For Our Vendors | Heart Love Weddings May 16, 2013 6:01 am

    [...] Facebook etiquette advice for couples planning their wedding from Danielle Pasternak, Wedding [...]

    • Creative Spotlight: Alexandra Whitney Photography

    05.01.2013 / Vendor Spotlight / no comments

    Last August, I had the opportunity to work with one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever met in this business. You may remember Alexandra Whitney Photography‘s work from Amanda and Brian’s wedding last Summer? Well, I’m SO excited to share more of her awesome-ness with you here. And I love that she went on a fantastic journey prior to starting her business, just like I did. Makes me feel almost as cool as this chick. Ok, everyone – meet Alex…

    photo by Alexandra Whitney Photography

    Hello. Who are you?

    Hi! My name is Alex and I am the photographer at Alexandra Whitney Photography.  Officially I opened my doors about 2 years ago.  I live and work in Emmaus, Pa, but I am always traveling.

    Who or what got you started in the industry?

    There really wasn’t a who or what that kicked off my love of photography but I did get into this industry by a string of events… In my senior year of collage I decided I wanted to be a caterer so after I graduated I headed home to work for a friend’s catering business. Within two months I realized I hated it and suddenly didn’t know what to do. So I hopped a plane and took the first flight to Rome (and then on to Paris) for two weeks to do a little soul searching. During my trip all I could think of was that for the past 10 years the only thing I have ever done consistently and with joy was photography. With a bit of luck and a lot of hard work I started building the foundation of my business when I returned back from Europe. I found I loved working in the wedding industry kind of by accident when I photographed a friend’s wedding.  Since then I haven’t looked back!

    photo by Alexandra Whitney Photography

    What is your favorite part about being in the wedding world?

    Honestly?  Other than meeting new people (which I always love to do) my favorite part of the wedding industry is the high emotions of the wedding day. The constant movement of events, the intense emotion, the beautiful details and making sure everything is perfect. I spend so much time with my clients, with their families and friends that I become absorbed in their lives for the day. I love that. It’s can be tiring being that amped up but I wouldn’t trade that exhausted joy for anything. It’s a special feeling being part of someone’s wedding and doing something that will help them bring back the memories of their day. In my mind, you have to love seeing how all of this comes together or you just can’t do this.

    photo by Alexandra Whitney Photography

    Besides weddings, are there any other special events that you service?

    Outside of weddings, most of my work revolves around lifestyle portrait photography. Out of all of the sessions I capture, boudoir and senior sessions would be my two favorites. In boudoir I get to see such confidence in my clients as our session moves, I love it. With seniors, I get super-happy, fun-loving individuals ready to take on the last year before they move on with the next big step in their lives. Also, I do a lot of food photography (and who doesn’t love eating for part of the job!)

    Ok, we all know I’m a big fan of yellow. What’s your favorite color?

    Danielle, you have excellent taste in color because you are 100% right that yellow is the best color. It’s such a happy color. When I’m designing somehow it always shows up in my work.  Plus, depending on the shade, it pretty much matches everything, or at least I pretend it does!

    photo by Alexandra Whitney Photography

    As a photographer, where do you go to be inspired? 

    Inspiration comes from all over. In the beginning of my career it came from other photographers, then fashion magazines. Pinterest was and is a great resource. Now, I would say that I gain a lot of my inspiration from what is around me and other artists. I have to keep reminding myself to step out of my comfort zone and try something new and typically from that exploration I find new inspiration. Also, I always find my clients as one of my best sources to fuel my creativity!

    photo by Alexandra Whitney Photography

    What sets you apart from other fellow photographers?

    You know, I don’t really have an answer for this. I never really work towards setting myself apart because honestly I don’t care about that. What I do care about are my clients and capturing the vision that we create (or my own vision if it’s a personal project).  For my clients, I get to know them – where they are coming from, what they want from our session together and also in life.  I really want to know who my clients are or want to showcase. That would be what I wanted from any photographer, to have them capture the real me (or at least what I wanted to project). So I guess what sets me apart is my ability to listen and learn.

    photo by Alexandra Whitney Photography

    Whether you’re single, married, divorced, widowed… we all have words of advice when it comes to relationships. What is your advice to couples tying the knot?

    This is going to sound weird, but learn how to argue. My parents have the best marriage I have ever seen which is why they have been together so long (33 years this year!).  When asked by a minister what their secret was to having a successful marriage, my dad, without hesitation, told her that they learned how to argue with one another.  Any relationship you are going to have differences of opinions, you can’t agree on everything. In a marriage you will be dealing with huge life changing decisions. You need to learn what matters you can compromise, give in and what to hold strong on.  Part of learning how to argue is also how to get your point across without hurting the other’s feelings.

    photo by Alexandra Whitney Photography

    Aside from weddings, what are some other hobbies/hidden talents/secret powers?

    Before I switched full time for photography I worked a variety of jobs. Two of them, I swear were godsends because they taught me a lot about my other two loves in life – coffee and food. I pulled the best shots of espresso when I worked at a local coffee shop. To say that coffee is a passion of mine would be an understatement. I miss being behind the machine sometimes and once I save up a little more I will be the girl with a giant espresso machine in her house. In my mind, it’s a practical kitchen tool and is always needed. Which brings me to food. I can cook. I can throw down. Call me a foodie, but I would rather eat a good meal with friends then go on vacation.

    photo by Alexandra Whitney Photography

    Speaking of super powers, if you could choose to have any, what would you pick?

    I don’t know if this is a superpower but I would love to have the talent of looking at something and remembering every detail. That would have helped me study for a test or two in college…

    photo by Alexandra Whitney Photography

    Finally, how do we connect with you? 

    To see my work visit me at: alexandrawhitney.com

    My most recent work will be at: alexandrawhitney.com/blog

    Email me: alex@alexadrawhitney.com

    Pinterest: pinterest.com/awhitney

    Facebook: facebook.com/alexandrawhitney

    Instagram: alexandrawhitney

    no comments

    I don’t always agree with the 20% rule

    04.29.2013 / Tips + Advice / no comments

    When planning your wedding and particularly looking at your guest list, you may read that you should “invite 20% more people than you’d like to actually have at your wedding”. On average, yes approximately 20% of your guests will decline for one reason or another, but how do you know that you’re going to be the average???

    Crystal Satriano Photography

    photo by Crystal Satriano Photography

    There are many factors that come into play when it comes to your guest list…

    • time of year
    • location of the wedding
    • where friends and family are coming from
    • holidays
    • vacations
    • general personality of guests (maybe they’re just not ‘wedding people’)

    All of those factors make it difficult to know just how many people you can expect to have at your wedding. If you’ve already chosen your venue, you know approximately how many people you can actually have at your wedding. For examples sake, let’s say your venue can comfortably hold 150. It can hold more but it would require you putting some guests in a side room and that’s not your ideal wish. So 150 it is.

    When you are making your guest list, I highly recommend categorizing them by priority. Yes, I know it’s almost cruel and I don’t recommend Facebook-ing it, but it’s completely normal and justified. Use numbers, letters, basically anything that can be sorted. (If you don’t use Excel or some type of spreadsheet, I might just slap you)

    Ok, so your list should be divided up into three categories.

    • List A: The list of people that you absolutely MUST invite. 
    • List B: The list of people that you’d like to have there, but don’t NEED to have. 
    • List C: The list of people that you do not need to invite, but would like to send an announcement.

    Ok, let’s break down those lists a little bit more.

    List A: This list should be the list of people that you absolutely MUST have at your wedding. They are close friends and close family members that you couldn’t imagine celebrating without. This list could be ten people or it could be 150; just make sure that whatever this number is is feasible with your venue. This list will all get an invitation to your wedding.

    List B: This list is your list of people that you’d like to have at your wedding, as long as the budget and space will allow. This list can be broken down into further categories if you need, but it will likely contain co-workers, family friends, extended family, and maybe some former classmates. Some of these guests may be invited initially, but once you start receiving RSVPs, you’ll be able to start sending out invites to your remaining List B as needed.

    List C: This list should contain those that you do not wish to invite to your wedding, but would like to send them a formal announcement of your marriage. They do not receive an invitation. The announcement is sent AFTER the wedding day.

    If you are sending out more invites than your venue can hold, PLEASE be prepared for more yes’s than you think. It might be unlikely, but it’s also important to note that it CAN happen. So by having two lists (or more), you can track your RSVPs and see who you’ll be able to add in towards the end when some of A-listers decline.

    Make sense? Hope so.

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