Wedding Vendor Etiquette: Advice On Talking To Your Wedding Vendors
I’ve been hearing it more and more lately and also feeling it a little myself and after a plea from a friend, I decided to address it here: Wedding Vendor Etiquette.
Photo by Lalee Photography
Wedding etiquette goes much deeper than the wording on your invitation. Etiquette also comes into play when you are handling plans for your wedding day, including contacting potential wedding professionals. Despite what The Knot (blech) might tell you, it is not an “ok” thing to treat your wedding vendors like scum and it’s never ok to just assume they will work for far less than they charge.
Yep, I’m talking about how you should go about chatting with a potential vendor.
So, I don’t like to be negative, right? If you know me, this is the case. I like positive. It’s why I like the color yellow. It makes me smile. I guess I also like the color grey, but I digress.
What you first need to know and remember when contacting a potential wedding vendor for your big day is that they are trying to see if they are a good fit for you JUST AS MUCH as you are. We enjoy working with people we “click” with just as much as you so it’s important to keep that in mind.
Second, do your research BEFORE contacting them. This is especially true in the cases of photographers, videographers, and florists. Just about every one of them have some type of portfolio on their website and it’s there for you to look at. The purpose is show their style and for you to see if that style matches the vibe you’re going for. Contacting a photographer before you’ve ever seen their photos is just wasting both of your time and can be easily avoided. So check out their work, make sure it matches what you are looking for, and then reach out to them to get to know more.
Once you’ve contacted your potential pro, price will eventually come up. Ladies and gentlemen, this is very important so please read this carefully. When you ask a vendor to discount their services without sacrificing anything from what you will be receiving, it is the EXACT same thing as your employer asking to remove x amount of dollars from your paycheck without you doing any less work. You would feel hurt and offended and in most cases, it wouldn’t fly with you, would it? To expect a vendor to remove a couple hundred of dollars from their estimate is not ok and there a few reasons why…
First, this is their means of living. In most cases, this is not a “side job” or a “hobby”, it is the way they support their families, pay their bills, and continue to stay in business for future couples to enjoy their talents.
Second, their pricing is not something they just pull out of a hat. Like any product or service, it is configured based on the value of service they provide. Third, most wedding industry small businesses are not multi-millionaires. We are all very hardworking people who have a love and passion for what we do. We are in it to make a profit (for the same reasons that everyone on the planet works) but we are not in it to become overnight billionaires.
Third, if So and So Productions Inc. offers it for a lower price, it’s FOR A REASON. When one company has a different price than the other company it’s almost always because of a different quality or quantity. Just the same as you can’t compare McDonald’s to a fine-dining restaurant (but it’s all food right???) you can’t compare one florist to another florist (or any other type of vendor). Look at their work. Look at the quality, the personality, the added touches that make them unique or just-average. But, telling one company that another company offers it for a lesser price is the same thing as going to that fine-dining restaurant and saying “well McDonald’s has burgers for as low as $1” because I can guarantee you that that restaurant will tell you “then you are welcome to go eat at McDonald’s” (they might not even be that nice about it).
Ok, so all of this being said, I’m not saying that you need to just walk on eggshells and be on your best behavior around us crazy wedding vendor folk. But what I am saying is that you want to be respectful and mindful of what you are asking and how you are asking it.
**Steps off soap box.** Have a great day everyone!
