Pros and Cons of a Sweetheart Table
You’ve put a lot of thought into where your guests will sit at your wedding reception — but what about where you and your partner will sit? A common question couples with a seated reception ask is, “Should we do a Sweetheart Table?”
There are certainly pros and cons to doing a Sweetheart Table, but what it comes down to is what feels best for you two.
Let’s dive in to help you decide whether or not a Sweetheart Table will be best for you at your wedding.
Photo by Tyler Boye Photography of Jessica and Jared’s Hotel Bethlehem wedding
What is a Sweetheart Table?
A Sweetheart Table is a smaller table set for two – for you and your new spouse – at your wedding reception. Generally, a Sweetheart Table is set up to face the rest of the room so that you have a view of all of your favorite people. It’s also usually close to the dance floor, so you have a front row seat to everything.
Benefits to a Sweetheart Table
You Can Spend Some Time Together
One of the benefits of a Sweetheart Table is that it can be one of the few moments of the day where it’ll be just you and your partner.
You can really sit down together and really soak in the moment. It’s like a really fabulous dinner date celebrating the beginning of your married life. Pretty cool, right?
Granted, you’re going to be surrounded by all of your favorite people, so it’s not the same as a nice, quiet “date night” at a restaurant. And it’s almost guaranteed that guests will keep coming up to you as you eat, but it’s still a good time to pause and take it all in.
Photo by Hoffer Photography of Shannon and Aakash’s River House at Odette’s wedding
You Don’t Have To Play Favorites
You don’t have to choose who you’re sitting with or next to, because your table will be just the two of you.
Your wedding parties, parents, siblings, friends, families will all be “equally snubbed”, if you will.
You Can Go BIG On The Decor
Because Sweetheart Tables are a focal point of your reception, it can be easy to go over-the-top or have a little extra on decor without needing to spend a lot.
Your Sweetheart Table is a great spot to repurpose ceremony decor, if possible. If you had some sort of backdrop for your ceremony, it may be possible to repurpose it here. This lends itself to some gorgeous photos of the two of you, especially during toasts.
Photo by Lauren Kearns Photography of Caitlin and Dave’s Glasbern Inn wedding
Downsides to a Sweetheart Table
Guests Will Keep Coming Up To Your Table
While it’s so sweet to be with your partner, there can be a few downsides to a Sweetheart Table. Like going out to eat at a restaurant, but it’s full of EVERYONE you know and love, it can be tough to sit and just eat together with your partner because you want to chat and say hi to everyone.
For whatever reason, I don’t see this happen anywhere near as often as when a couple is seated with other guests.
It Can Feel A Bit Isolating
When you’re surrounded by all of your favorite people, it can also feel a little isolating because you’re not able to have a conversation with them while you eat. It would be like filling the restaurant with your favorite people, yet being in a separate room. Or behind glass. You can see them, but you can’t interact with them.
And if a partner steps away, it might feel as if you’re sitting in that private room all alone. (And they never come back very quickly because they’ll get stopped 100x.)
Photo by Hope and Stay Photography of Christine and Andrew’s Glasbern Inn wedding
It’s Hard To Sit and Just Eat
You’re also less likely to eat much of anything when you’re seated at a Sweetheart Table instead of seated with family.
People will keep coming up to you as you eat. While everyone has great intentions wanting to stop by to say a quick hello, it can mean that a constant stream of well-wishers will interrupt your bites.
Instead, if you’re seated with your wedding party or family, some of your closest people will be seated around you for conversation and you can still continue to eat. Because they are too.
Photo by Meg Brock Photography of Lauren and Matt’s Union Trust wedding
You’re A Bit More “On Display”
All I can hear in my head now is RHONJ’s Melissa Gorga singing “On display, on display, on display…” 🙄 — but anyway…
Because a Sweetheart Table is such a focal point during dinner, all eyes will be on you. So if you’re worried about being “in the spotlight”, this might not be the best idea for you.
Granted, you’re just eating. (Or trying to) But you will constantly have eyes looking at you. So it’s tough to blend in during dinner.
Alternatives to doing a Sweetheart Table
If you’re not sure that a Sweetheart Table is right for you, here are some other alternatives to consider:
Traditional “Head Table” with Wedding Party
A Head Table includes the couple and their wedding party seated on one side of the table, facing the guests.
This is a nice way to honor your wedding party, and include them in the moment.
While this is certainly one tradition to consider, I find it to be a bit outdated.
Having people seated on only one side of the table makes it difficult for a flowing conversation since you can only speak to whoever is seated directly next to you. It can also feel a little isolating or awkward for your wedding party to continue to be separated from their partners, since partners or plus ones are often seated elsewhere.
Photo by Love Me Do Photography of Caryl and Jordan’s Horticulture Center at Fairmount Park wedding
Modernized Kings Table or Royal Table
(A personal favorite of mine)
A modernized Kings Table (or Royal Table) seats the couple and their VIPs (wedding party, wedding party’s plus ones or partners, sometimes parents) all along both sides of a long table. The two spaces directly across from the couple are typically left open to make it easier to view the couple for toasts and photos.
This style of table allows your VIPs to be comfortable since they don’t have to be separated from their partners or plus ones. And having your VIPs on both sides of the table allows for flowing conversations, which can be comforting and fun.
Leaving a space across from the couple allows the rest of your guests to see you, but since you’re not at a Sweetheart Table, they won’t necessarily feel the need to come chat with you during dinner. (I swear, it’s like magic)
PRO TIP: I recommend making seating cards for this type of table to make sure everyone ends up where you want them. Think of it like a fabulous dinner party. And it’s okay to just have seating cards for the one table, so don’t feel pressure to do this for all your guests.
To allow both sides of the table to be used, a Kings Table or Royal Table is often extra-wide to accommodate extra decor. This is another great spot to repurpose ceremony decor if possible. Your table can still make a statement, and allow for great photos.
Regular Guest Table
You can also skip these formalities, and sit at a regular table, just like your guests. These tables are usually a table of 8 to 12 people, including the couple. Add whomever you’d like to sit with – parents, siblings, wedding party, friends – and enjoy your dinner with your own VIPs, without worrying about people watching you eat. If you don’t have a wedding party, and don’t want to have a Sweetheart Table or some sort of Kings Table, a regular table might be the perfect solution for you.
Looking for an easy way to organize your guest list?
If you’re looking for a way to organize your guest list (and figure out which table each group will sit at), you might be interested in the Guest List template in the Shop at DPNAK.
This Guest List template is designed to give you a beautiful and functional way to determine your guest list, see how many guests are invited, attending, declined, etc. You can also note who is out-of-town (and might need a hotel), which table each group will be seated at, their meal selections, dietary restrictions, and more.
