What Not To Do When Planning A Wedding: Avoiding “Relative Terms”

Today, I’d like to talk about what NOT to do when planning a wedding.

We’ve all been there – planning a wedding or not – we say something to someone expecting that they’ll understand what we’re saying. The only problem is we use a “relative term”. Ok, what’s a relative term? According to Wikipedia, a relative term is a term that makes two or more distinct references to objects (which may be the same object, for example in “The Morning Star is the Evening Star”). A relative term is typically expressed in ordinary language by means of a phrase with explicit or implicit blanks.

Ok, when I read that, it doesn’t make any sense. So, let’s put it into words we can understand.

A relative term is a word that means one thing to us but can mean something else to another.

For example, you may say “I really want to have BIG centerpieces for my reception”. BIG is the relative term here. To you, a BIG centerpiece may be approximately 3′ high with several blooms billowing out of the structure. To your florist, a BIG centerpiece may be approximately 7′ high with a forrest of branches coming out of it. BIG difference, right?

Another example, you may say to your DJ “We only want you to play GOOD music and nothing too CHEESY”. Ok, now we’ve got two relative terms: GOOD and CHEESY. To some, Spice Girls are GOOD and to others Spice Girls are CHEESY. Just because you think it’s GOOD, doesn’t mean everyone else does.

And, duh, this is common sense, right? Likely.

But when it comes to planning your wedding, you will find these words sneaking into your meetings and conversations – which is actually fine. But, you must go back and clearly define what your definitions of these “relative terms” are. That will keep you ALL on the same page and moving confidently in the same direction. Because we all know what assuming does. ;)